the grand grand tasting menu.

weeded. in the shits. slammed. hit. battered and fried.
call it what you want, but last night was crazy. karmic retribution for a wednesday night full of people who skipped right to steak (blame it on the stock market). perhaps a calculated effort of the scheming waiters who wanted [...]

sheer terror.

people often fall into categories: there are those you love, those you hate, those you couldn’t care less about…and those you are terrified of. and in that category fall the boogey man, the grim reaper, the escaped convict, an ultimate fighting champion, and your boss.
so when two of the above mentioned fear-inducing people walked [...]

oyster line-up.

s-a-l-m-o-n. “does that look right?” i’m perched high above my station, a small piece of white chalk in hand. my lefty handwriting is passable at best, and that’s on a small piece of paper or c-fold. but take away the stabilizing force of gravity and add to it a large black [...]

the bitch.

this post, not its title, is dedicated to the birthday girl.  so happy birthday, k.b. (not to be confused with raw bar k.).  here’s a new post.
the bitch is not an overly demanding customer or an incompetent server.  it’s not an annoying co-worker or a picky boss.
nope, the bitch of the raw bar is a [...]

family meal.

it’s 4:30 and there’s a line of front waiters, back waiters, runners, and bartenders wrapped around the kitchen into the dining room.  they’re already dressed in their matching ties, vests, and striped shirts.  their sidework for the day has already been completed: ice buckets have been filled, candles are lit, and tables are set.  but [...]

if the shoes fits…

girls love to buy shoes.  shoes for the beach or for a party.  shoes to lounge in, shoes to dance in.  shoes for 9-5 and shoes for the weekend.  patent leather, suede, canvas.  red stilletos, black slides, pink ballet flats.  jimmy choo, charles david, puma.  we’ll buy shoes we wear to death,  we’ll buy shoes [...]

star treatment.

mine is a trendy restaurant.  it’s bound to attract some famous clientele.  former presidents, oscar winning actresses, authors, musicians…we’ve seen (and fed) it all.  but last night we were graced with TWO v.i.p. guests at the same time.
one was a famous chef; the other was a famous television personality who had famously lost tons of [...]

always (diet) coca cola.

three hours, 150 covers, 3 grand tasting menus, and countless tunas. we’ve cleaned up our station, changed the ice and water on our dear lil’ oysters, and wiped down the counters and drawers. we’ve cleaned our knives and put away our tools. it’s time to go home.
…but not before our shift drink. [...]

trailing behind.

to get a job in an office you submit a resume, a cover letter, and schedule an interview. you show up in slacks and black shoes. you carry an attache with a spare copy of your resume and your hair is straight. good posture, a confident attitude, and you’re all set for [...]

poet laureate.

the kitchen is a man’s world: a place of cursing and swearing, alcohol and tattoos.  they beat you down.  the chef will yell at you all through service.  “where’s the order for table 73?  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? i needed that order ten minutes ago!” and on and on.  and then at [...]